Her mouth was moving, but all that was being heard was shouting by the crowd.

As Hillary Clinton claimed the Democratic nomination for president and the pride of womyn everywhere, no one could hear her at her Brooklyn headquarters.

“I can’t hear her,” a man said.

“We can’t hear you!” one woman shouted.

“Clearly there’s a male chauvinist pig running the sound board,” the oppressed feminist Hillary must have been thinking.

And when her voice was finally amplified, a loud screech filled the room and cringing faces peppered the stands in the background.

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